Confraternity of Penitents Newsletter
May Our Risen Lord grant you every grace! A blessed Easter Season to all!
NO GREATER LOVE: VITA DEI HOUSES:
A MINISTRY OF THE CFP
A LIVING MISSION STATEMENT
Vita Dei Houses are a ministry of the Confraternity of Penitents. They serve practicing Catholics who are ardently striving for holiness and desire a share in the model of the Trinitarian Love with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, as far as one can, here on earth. House residents
· may be discerning religious life or the priesthood or single or married life.
· may be facing serious life decisions.
· may be exploring school or career options.
· may be older, able-bodied individuals with sound mind, desirous of living long-term in a fully Catholic and Trinitarian Community and who act as mentors to younger residents. Mature residents serve with holy love and faith as did their models Mary and Joseph in the Holy Family.
What is Vita Dei?©
Life of God: Implications for Living in a Fully Catholic Community
Developed from Bishop Kevin Rhoades’ Teaching on the Eucharist 2/11/23
By Elizabeth Lemire, CFP, Administrator Annunciation Vita Dei House
Vita Dei means “Life of God.”
Our all-loving God invites and desires us to share in His life, which is to share in the model of the Trinitarian Love and the communion with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
What Is This Trinitarian Life?
The Trinitarian Life is the “Life of God,” Vita Dei. The Trinitarian life, communicating the shared love of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, is a Family of Relationships in a bond of perfect love of the Lover, the Beloved, and Love Shared. (Bishop Robert Barron in The Mystery of God Video Lecture).
As Bishop Barron states, “God is Love” (Lover), the imago of the “Beloved” (Son), and the “Shared Love” between the Father and Son is “breathed out” as the Holy Spirit, in the Communion of Persons, three persons, one God (Communio Personarum) in the Trinity. All are co-equal, sharing in one will. (Bishop Robert Barron in The Mystery of God Video Lecture)
How Might We Define Love?
Bishop Robert Barron defines Love as “willing the good of the other for the sake of the other”.
St John Paul II calls it a “Total and Disinterested Self-Gift (Donation) to the other, as other.”
Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen states: “Love is the key to the mystery. Love is not selfish, but generous. It seeks not its own but the good of others. The measure of love is not the joy it gives, but the peace it can purchase for others. It is not the wine it drinks but the wine it serves. Love is not a circle circumscribed by self; it is the cross with arms embracing all humanity. It thinks not of having, but of being had; not of possessing but of being possessed; not of owning but of being owned. Love, then, by nature is social. Its greatest happiness is to gird its loins and serve at the banquet of life; its greatest unhappiness is to be denied the joy of sacrifice for others. (Pgs. 121-122 The Cries of Jesus from the Cross, by Archbishop Fulton J Sheen)
The Eucharist Is the Sacrament of Charity (Love)
The Eucharist is the Sacrament of Charity (Love). The Eucharist is a totally undeserved gift. Through God’s infinite love, He gives Himself to us to partake in His Divine Love.
The Eucharist calls us to the perfection of love. The last sentence in #11 of Lumen Gentium is as follows: Strengthened by so many and such great means of salvation, all the faithful, whatever their condition or state, are called by the Lord—each in his or her own way ---to that perfect holiness by which the Father himself is perfect.
St. John Paul II also uses the concept of the Communio Personarum as it relates to marriage in his work on the Theology of the Body.
In reality, it is only in the mystery of the Word made flesh that the mystery of man truly becomes clear. For Adam, the first man, was a type of him who was to come, Christ, the new Adam, in the very revelation of the mystery of the Father and of his love, fully reveals man to himself and brings to light his most high calling. * (Page 111 Crossing the Threshold of Love: A New Vision of Marriage in the Light of John Paul II’s Anthropology by Mary Shivanandan, STD)
How Is Trinitarian Love a Model for Living in a Community?
A community which is joyful, vibrant, and living within a Trinitarian model, as far as one can on earth, is a “family” where love is constantly flowing, shared and freely given between members in a mutually shared upward spiral of selfless giving and returning of love.
“Love” enters into “otherness” of the community with the trials we each face. Love is what God is. (Bishop Robert Barron, The Mystery of God DVD)
In the partaking of the Eucharist, the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ, we begin to learn of the Love of Communion with God, and then, by extension, with all people.
Bishop Kevin Rhoades, of the Diocese of Fort Wayne/South Bend, in a talk on the Eucharist, explains how we can look at God’s invitation to everyone to share in His Life through contemplating the mystery of love, the most Holy Eucharist, with three words, Sacrifice, Presence, and Communion.
Each of these are aspects of love. Each are aspects of Trinitarian Love. Each impact a community.
Sacrifice in the Eucharist: The mystery of Sacrifice is Christ sacrificing his life for his bride, the Church, by loving her to the end. The Church witnesses his spousal love of his Bride in gift of self-donation. “Blood” poured out for you and many, for forgiveness of sins, is the new Passover rite of the new covenant.
The sacrifice of Christ and the sacrifice of the Eucharist are one single sacrifice. (CCC 1367) “The victim is one and the same offered through the priest, not in a bloody manner as on the altar of the cross, but is contained and re-presented in an unbloody manner and is a truly propitiatory.” (Council of Trent : Doctrina de ss. Missae sacrificio, c. 2: DS1743; cf. Heb 9:14,27)
(CCC 1368) “In the Eucharist, the sacrifice of Christ becomes also the sacrifice of the members of his Body. The lives of the faithful, their praise, sufferings, prayer, and work, are united with those of Christ and with his total offering and so acquire a new value. Christ’s sacrifice present on the altar makes it possible for all generations of Christians to be united with his offering.”
The Eucharist is a living memorial, a re-living of a past event, a sacrifice of the Church, not confined to the past but brought forward to the present, so we are able to unite ourselves in union with Christ and enter into it.
Sacrifice in the Community: Living in community, we are “called” to sacrifice our wants, desires and individual preferences and even ourselves for the sake of the other persons living with us, just as happens in Communio Personarum of the Trinity or the spousal/marriage relationship. Love flows from one to all the others and is reflected back, to and through each person in an unbroken flow.
God in communion of the three persons of the Holy Trinity, is the ultimate authority or head of the community. God’s authority over the community is the source of respect and love we show and give to God and to each other as persons living and working together. Unanimity of mind, heart and will is at the core of this relationship. In the community, each person is responsible for their personal “Universal call to Holiness” and by entering, into and through love, to each other’s call as well. This love will encompass the total self-gift or self-donation to other persons within the community, be that in counsel or practical assistance. In this manner, life-giving love flows through the community.
Charity rendered toward one another nourishes the community. Such charity is itself nourished by participation in the Eucharist, in the sacrament of reconciliation, and in Adoration of the Most Blessed Sacrament.
Thus, sacrifice contains within it the love and respect we owe to our brothers and sisters in Christ as “other” for the sake of the other, and to the harmony of the community as a whole. If on other hand, the “self” becomes one’s priority, the communion is broken, and the community suffers and is damaged. Envy, competitiveness, jealousy, unforgiveness, gossip kill community life. We ask that residents maintain their gaze on sacrifice in discernment of God’s will for them and the “helps” they give to one another.
Presence in the Eucharist: Jesus is substantially present in the Eucharist under the humble elements of bread and wine. St Augustine stated that the Truth of The Eucharistic mystery cannot be touched by sight, touch, taste but by adoring and through hearing alone.
Faith comes from hearing the Words of Jesus in John Chapter 6. The Eucharist is a mystery of Faith. Eucharist is the only one of the seven sacraments that contains Christ himself. This truth was accepted as a Dogma in the 12th and 13th centuries through the teaching of St Thomas Aquinas. Through the office of the priest, the bread and wine at Mass, while retaining the appearance of bread and wine, are substantially changed into the body and blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ. This is called Transubstantiation.
St Augustine held that the devout practice of giving adoration to God, as in the hymn Adoro te Devote, by St. Thomas Aquinas, is an act we perform that belongs to God alone. Faith and Reason together unlock this mystery of faith.
Presence in the Community: The Eucharist supplies the spiritual power to sustain and strengthen the presence of Christ within the community and the right ordering of love.
Presence in the community begins with the Eucharist.
Reception of the most Holy Eucharist at Mass is an important element of a living community because the Eucharist is the sacrament of charity. It is truly Vita Dei, “Life of God.” Attendance at Sunday Mass is a must. Daily Mass is encouraged.
Weekly Eucharistic Adoration outside of Mass is vital for keeping one’s focus on the Lord and His direction. Adoration more than once weekly is strongly encouraged.
Reception of the Holy Eucharist and Eucharistic Adoration supply the spiritual power to sustain and strengthen the presence of Christ within the community and the right ordering of love. Eucharistic devotion fosters love of God and surrender to His Will. In turn, this fosters love of others and self-less service to them.
Regular community gatherings maintain the bonds of love. These include attending and participating weekly in the community’s regular educational programs, faith formation, prayer times, and community dinners.
Although differences may exist in each of their paths, all individuals can enter into the presence of the community to encourage, sacrifice and pray for one another.
Community gatherings build community while the lack of attendance damages community living. We ask that residents make presence in the community a priority so that obligations and gatherings outside the community assume a secondary role as much as charity and employment allow.
Living “in the present moment” recognizes the Holy Spirit’s continual guidance even in life’s mundane aspects. By living in the present moment, without allowing distractions or self-absorption to hinder the bond with the person before us, we can be “present” to one another, fostering the flow of love within the community.
The indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit guides and supports the growth of each person’s call. Being present in the moment to the other person before us activates the gifts we are given for the building up of the Church and one another.
Communion in the Eucharist: When we receive the Body and Blood of Christ, we participate in the spousal union with Jesus both spiritually and physically for about 10 minutes, until the body assimilates the Body and Blood of our Lord.
The enduring spiritual effects of Eucharist, the intimate union with the risen Christ and the Church, can be seen as a sacrament of church unity (Ecclesial Union). The Eucharist preserves, nourishes, and augments our life in Christ. It is food for the journey.
“The Word became Flesh to make us partakers in the divine nature. For this is why the Word become man: and the Son of God became the son of man: so that man, by entering into Communion with the Word and thus receiving divine sonship, might become a son of God. For the Son of God became man so that we might become God. The only-begotten Son of God, wanting to make us sharers in his divinity, assumed our nature, so that he made man, might make men gods.” (CCC 460).
In John 17:21 Jesus states …"that they may all be one; even as thou Father, art in me and I in thee, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that thou has sent me." Jesus continues on in verses 22 and 23… "The glory which thou hast given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one. I in them and thou in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that thou hast sent me and hast loved them even as thou hast loved me."
Jesus’ profound and powerful words contain implications for “holy” community living and living within the Church community. Basing a life around the Eucharist, adoration, and the universal call to holiness, we can be in union with Christ and his mystical body, the Church. We walk with Christ to the extent we are in relationship with him in the Eucharist.
St JP II named Blessed Maria Gabriella of the Trappist Order in Sardinia the Patroness of Unity. She memorized and practiced in her life, the entire 17th Chapter of John: Holy Father, keep them in thy name whom thou has given me; that they may be one, as we also are. *John 17:11. May we all pray to her that the source and manifestation of our community be one in heart, and one in soul, in Christ which creates communion and community.
Communion in the Community: “Oneness” in mind and heart brings about communion in the community. How does this happen?
· By utilizing a spiritual director. A spiritual director is a person who is trained in both theology and interpersonal skills. Each Vita Dei house resident meets monthly with a spiritual director. We encourage you to ask questions, be open to direction, and humbly follow the guidance received. If a resident does not already have a spiritual director, the house administrator can assist in finding one.
· By entrusting the Holy Spirit with your journey. Trust God to bring a good work in you to completion!
· By desiring to grow in union with the Trinity and with others in the community. Most successful Vita Dei house residents are those whose deepest desire is union with God in the manner the Holy Spirit directs.
· By consulting the wisdom in one another, especially in older and more mature residents. Because they have experienced the give and take of life, older residents who are living examples of self-less love are vital role models for younger residents. Mature residents help build and maintain community life. Younger residents learn from them, thus becoming models themselves.
· By knowing yourself. Only by naming your strengths and weaknesses can you learn to seek God’s guidance for personal growth. What are your desires? Relationship skills? Commitments? “Issues?” Wounds? What “baggage” are you carrying?
· By giving yourself time to spiritually grow. The first three months at a Vita Dei house are critical. During these months, new residents solidify their involvement in the community and grow in experience, self-awareness, and interpersonal skills. An informal study program on fifty-two virtues vital to holiness is a critical part of this time. To allow opportunity for this spiritual development, in the first three months, residents are to limit involvement in outside groups, with the exception of employment and necessary family obligations.
· By anticipating advancement in virtue. Virtue means more than prudishness. The theological virtues are faith, hope, and charity. The moral virtues are prudence, patience, counsel, justice, religion, piety, obedience, gratitude, affability, temperance, humility, gift of fear, perseverance, and fortitude. Spiritual Theology by Jordan Aumann OP. Pages 247-313. As you live in community and come to know and confront your strengths and weaknesses, you will be fostering growth in virtue. Your spiritual director, house administrator, and fellow residents will support you in this journey.
· By reviewing your week with your mentor. The mentor is someone with whom you feel comfortable and whose advice is solid and theologically and morally sound. Generally, this is your spiritual director, but it may also be the house administrator, another house resident, or a close friend. This person should help you ascertain the progress you have made or not made toward your goals.
· By humbly and faithfully completing your chores. Sharing chores shares the workload. Humbly and even joyfully completing your chores enables the community to function well.
· By contributing to household expenses. Paying minimal household dues at the beginning of each month enables the house administrator to purchase necessities (toilet paper, cleaning supplies, foods, etc.) used in common.
· By supporting the ministry of the sponsoring organization, the Confraternity of Penitents (CFP). By paying the monthly Program Service Fee (PSF) or working it off through 10 hours per week volunteer work in CFP ministry, you participate in the Confraternity’s mission to spread the Catholic faith and to promote conversion.
Length of Residency
There is no time limit to stay at Vita Dei houses. As long as they fulfill the terms of their contract, residents may live at their Vita Dei house as long as they wish.
However, most of those who have come to a Vita Dei house to foster discernment will, once the discernment is complete, want to move forward with God’s will for them. The next step becomes much clearer and more attractive.
Sometimes God may express the need for counseling for a particular issue or to express the need for additional growth before embarking on the desired state in life. Some residents will wish to remain at their Vita Dei house while completing this step.
Both of these examples are successful discernment outcomes.
We urge residents to avoid a half-hearted search for God’s Will or to contest the Holy Spirit’s guidance and advice given through prayer, mentoring, and spiritual direction. This attitude impedes the work of discernment, leaving the resident in the same place as at the beginning of residence, with little fruit to show.
For all residents, humility is needed to ascertain and submit to God’s will and be obedient. Submission to God’s will is the ultimate task of our lives. Entering the community with pre-conceived ideas of what God wants for you, is to invite the evil one to the party. Wrestling with God to have Him ratify your will is ultimately an unsuccessful discernment. Those who follow this path waste much valuable time as compared to those who “hope in the Lord” Is. 40:31.
· Lumen Gentium
· Gaudium et Spes
· Crossing the Threshold of Love: A New Vision of Marriage in Light of John Paul II’s Anthropology; Mary Shivanandan, STD; Catholic University Press;1999.
· The Theology of the Body: Human Love In the Divine Plan; John Paul II Daughters of St Paul;1997.
· The Catechism of the Catholic Church the Second Edition; Liberia Editrice Vaticana; 1997.
· Spiritual Theology by Jordan Aumann, OP; Reprinted by Continuum, 2006.
· The Cries of Jesus from the Cross, A Fulton Sheen Anthology Compiled by Al Smith, Sophia Institute Press; 2018.
· From Manuscript of Bishop Kevin Rhoades Teaching on the Eucharist 2/11/23
· The Mystery of God: Who God Is and Why He Matters; DVD Lectures by Bishop Robert Barron held at Mundelein Seminary. 2015 Word On Fire Catholic Ministries.
SERIES: LIVING THE CFP WAY OF LIFE
When I started to live the Rule, our youngest child was eight and our oldest eighteen. Since our family is not clothes conscious, the fact that Mom wasn’t wearing pink wasn’t on anyone’s radar. Mom had been going to a little prayer room already created under the staircase, and no one was paying attention to how often I went out there to pray the Office and CFP prayers. I tried to pray these before the family awoke and after they went to bed, leaving the Little Hours for prayer during the day. On weekdays, those could mostly be prayed when the four kids were at school. Meals were a little trickier. Only years later did one of then grown children learn that I was living this Rule and what that meant. The response was, “So that’s why we always had macaroni and cheese on Monday.” The most difficult part for me was the prayers. I learned to take my breviary with me and pray it after Mass or at a break during a school concert or play. I’d head down the hall to the stairs and sit on them, out of sight, to pray before heading back to Act Two. Life became a little more complicated when we adopted number 5 and I ended up home schooling her four year later. By then, the Rule was familiar and I was able to use my “marginal minute” to pray under the staircase while number 5 was completing classwork. Living the Rule actually freed up my life in giving me a prayer structure, a meal plan, and a wardrobe where, whatever I pulled from the closet, looked OK with whatever else I pulled. I’ve been living this Rule for more than a quarter of a century. No way do I want to turn back the clock. ---Madeline Pecora Nugent, CFP
NO GREATER LOVE:
THE JOYFUL SHOUT
In St. Matthew’s Gospel, Chapter 11, and St. Luke’s Gospel, Chapter 10, Jesus gives what is known as the “Joyful Shout” (Mt 11:25-27, Lk 10:21-22). In this prayer to God, Jesus reveals his relationship to the Father. “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to infants; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been delivered to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and any one to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.” (Mt 11:25-27)
In Chapter 10 of Jesus of Nazareth, Pope Benedict discusses the “Joyful Shout”, which he called, in German, the Jubelruf. He explains how this prayer of Jesus shows us His relationship to the Father as “the Son.” He first gives us a quotation from the Gospel of St. John. "No one has ever seen God; it is the only Son, who is nearest to the Father's heart, who has made him known” (Jn 1:18). This fundamental· saying---it now becomes plain---is an explanation of what comes to light in Jesus' prayer, in his filial dialogue. At the same time, it also becomes clear what "the Son” is and what this term means: perfect communion in knowledge, which is at the same time communion in being. Unity in knowing is possible only because it is unity in being.
Only the "Son" knows the Father, and all real knowledge of the Father is a participation in the Son's filial knowledge of him, a revelation that he grants ("he has made him known,” John tells us).
Only those to whom the Son "wills to reveal him" know the Father. But to whom does the Son will to reveal him? The Son's will is not arbitrary. What we read in Matthew 11:27 about the Son's will to reveal the Father brings us back to the initial verse 25, where the Lord thanks the Father for having revealed it to the little ones. We have already noted the unity of knowledge between Father and Son. The connection between verses 25 and 27 now enables us to see their unity of will.
Pope Benedict is telling us that there is a unity of both knowledge and will between Jesus and His Father. This means that there must be a unity of being between Jesus and the Father. Human beings can know, love, and serve God, but we cannot be God. Jesus is telling us in this prayer that He has a relationship with the Father which no human being could have. If we want to know the Father, we have to go through Jesus as He tells us in the last sentence of the prayer since “all things have been delivered to me by my Father”. In the first sentence of this prayer, Jesus tells us that only those who accept Divine Revelation as it is given from God can truly know God. These are the “infants”. The “wise and understanding” are those who think they have figured out who Jesus is although Jesus says that “no one knows the Son except the Father.” Jesus is claiming a unique relationship with the Father. All human males are the son of a father, but Jesus is the Son of the Father and not just a son of a father.
The Lord’s use of the term “the Son” has to be distinguished from the term “Son of God”. Pope Benedict explains that this term was used by pagan rulers. This term was also used to refer to the nation of Israel as God’s “firstborn son”, God’s chosen people. Then, the kings of Israel were also referred to as God’s son although it came to refer to the hope for a future Messiah King since the actual Kings of Israel and Judah were rather minor rulers. The early Christians quickly applied this hope to Jesus. Of course, this hope for the Messiah had to be detached from political hopes since this King ruled from the Cross and not from a throne of earthly power. Jesus is truly “the Son” but not the type of son that the Jews were hoping for. The jubelruf, the Joyful Shout, tells us that Jesus does not bring us worldly liberation and power. Jesus brings us God. Those who truly hunger for God will go to Jesus if they want to know the Father.
What does the Joyful Shout mean for us? The Lord gives us the answer. In St. Matthew’s Gospel, right after the Joyful Shout, we read: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Mt 11:28-30) All of us have to labor in this world. It is part of being human. The world makes demands on us, but it does not really know us. Even if the world gives us a “vacation”, the vacation comes to an end. Even rest can be a labor if we cannot really rest. The world dangles sin and self-indulgence before our eyes and gives us desires which can never really satisfy us. Even if all our “desires” are satisfied, even billionaires get old and eventually die, and who gets their wealth? All the “joys” of this world, both sinful and lawful joys, are temporary and imperfect. They must all end. Of course, there are also sorrows in this world such as illness, conflict, war, loss, and disappointments. All the world can do is distract us from these problems by sin or even by legitimate consolations. The world can be very burdensome.
The “yoke” and the “burden” of Jesus are very different. He knows us and does not lay demands on us which we cannot fulfill. The graces He gives us through the sacraments and the Church give us the power to carry his “yoke”. Also, the work we do for Him has meaning for eternal life. Eternal life is not like the joys of this world which are temporary and imperfect. They are real and lasting. They are eternal since their source, God, is eternal. When we work, we also do need rest. We can rest on Him for real rest. The Joyful Shout tells us why He can do this for us. Since He is one in being with the Father, He can give us real joys and real rest which the world cannot give. There is also another side to this. A prophet could tell us to trust in God and look to God for the rest that we need. However, Jesus tells us that “I” will give you rest. This is where the shadow of the unbelief of the world comes in. The world will tell us that this is all “pie in the sky by and by”. The world will tell us that it can give us real, concrete pleasures and joys here and now. It will tempt us to throw off His yoke in order to take what it can give. As Pope Benedict has pointed out, the wealthy, technological, secular, modern western world believes that only what can be observed, controlled and scientifically verified is true. If we believe this, we cannot be the “children” we need to be in order to receive the easy yoke and the rest which the Lord offers us.
St. Luke’s Gospel relates the same Joyful Shout, but a different saying follows it. “Then turning to the disciples, he said privately, ‘Blessed are the eyes which see what you see! For I tell you that many prophets and kings desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it’”. (Lk 10:23-24) What was it that the “prophets and kings” desired to see and hear? We read in the book of psalms “As a doe longs for running streams, so longs my soul for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, the God of life; when shall I go to see the face of God?” (Ps 42:1-2) The psalmist is longing for God. True, the devout Israelites did hear the words of God from the prophets, and God was present in the Temple. Yet they knew that they did not really know God. In psalm 119, the psalmist goes on for 176 verses proclaiming his devotion to the precepts and laws of God and yet he continually begs God to teach him even more. In the book of Exodus, Moses asks God to show Himself. “Show me your glory, I beg you.” (Ex 33:18) God refuses the request. “You cannot see my face,” he said, “for man cannot see me and live.” (Ex 33:20) The holy men of the Old Testament did not see what they desired to see. However, the Apostles and disciples of Jesus did see what the men of the Old Testament did not see, the Face of God. They did not just see someone like the prophets or John the Baptist, who spoke God’s words to them. They saw One who was “one in being” with the Father, as Pope Benedicts explains. The disciples of Jesus and we can see God in a way which was unavailable to the holy ones of the Old Covenant. Jesus tells us: “Truly, I say to you, among those born of women there has arisen no one greater than John the Baptist; yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.” (Mt 11:11) Do we really appreciate this? Do we understand what we get when we encounter the Lord in Word and Sacrament. Should not the Lord’s “Joyful Shout” be our joyful shout also as we recognize the great gift the Father has given to us “infants”? –Jim Nugent, CFP
Have you ever tried blindfolded archery? You don’t know what you’re missing!
A big pack of toilet paper fell on me at the grocery store. I suffered soft tissue damage.
Over a hundred years ago, two brothers announced they could fly. Turns out they were Wright.
A truck loaded with Vicks vapor rub overturned on the highway. Amazingly there was no congestion for eight hours.
They say money talks, but mine just waves good-bye.
The inventor of suspenders has just been awarded the no-belt prize.
A tombstone with a typo? Well, that’s a grave mistake!